Why do we all have to turn into such tedious bores when we “grow up”? When someone asks you how things are you are obligated to give the big cheesy smile and say “Everything is amazing! Little Johnny is getting straight A’s and is Harvard bound, my hubby just got a big promotion and I couldn’t be happier with my pathetic existence as a sticky sweet Stepford wife” **smile, smile and jazz hands for effect. Or you’re a Debbie Downer “Well, hubby’s prostate cancer is back, Johnny was just diagnosed with Asperger’s and since I can’t work we are facing financial ruin”. ***Wahhhhhhh Wahhhhhhhh
And it’s not to say that either of these conversations shouldn’t be had, or that that information can’t be shared, it’s just the manner in which we speak to each other that is so nauseating. It’s like an all or nothing; lie, cover up, embellish, dodge or Explode negative, painful truths that make the recipients of said explosion muy uncomfortable.
My theory is that this happens because we have all become so fucking self involved as adults that we stopped listening to each other. I feel like we are fostering a society where we don’t really care about each other; we are just robots spewing information at one another. Absorbing nothing and incapable of true empathy. We aren’t people that are part of a community, we are just trying to keep up appearances. When someone tells you that their significant other has cancer what is the response, “oh, no, let me know if I can do anything to help”. It’s a totally empty, bullshit response. You, know it, I know it, and the cancer spouse knows it. That’s why you never get the phone call asking for your help. If you really feel it, you say “come over for coffee or let me take you out for a drink and let’s get a plan together and see how I can help”. But everyone is so busy with meaningless bullshit that is slowly but surely comprising what we call our “lives”.
We can’t go bungee jumping everyday, but we should do something to make us feel alive, right? There are people all over the world doing truly important, profound things. I just mopped my kitchen floor. I started this post with the confidence that I had some shit figured out, but I guess I’m still working on it. Does slow and steady really win the race? When I was 18 my mantra was “if you can’t eat it, drink it, fuck it or smoke it, then to hell with it”. I was a fucking genius when I was 18. I was basically an id. I evolved into having an ego, but never quite made it to super ego. Now I think I’m regressing back to the id. The rest just seems like a huge waste of time. I just want to live a good life. Cake is fucking delicious, so I will eat a piece. If I want a 3rd glass of wine, I’ll have it. I won’t even lie to my doctor about it when I tell him my weekly intake. I’m lying. I don’t have a doctor. I self diagnose using the Internet! See, I feel better already!
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that we all need to snap out of it. Live in the present. Stop judging those around us and do just one thing everyday for someone else. It’s not going to change the world, but it will be a start.