I Touch Myself.


I love to play with myself. Call it what you want; diddling, flicking the bean, tickling the kitty, onanism, buffing the bead, doodling the noodle, masturbation, or my fave, paddling the pink canoe. It is all fun. And there is nothing wrong with it, even if you think there is, it can be your own dirty little (fun) secret. Hell, you were probably the first person to get you off!

Masturbation has so many advantages. When it is just you, there is no worry of having to get the partner off and all the mess/post clean up required. You can roll over and go to sleep (with a smile on your face). If you have trouble sleeping, a quick orgasm is the best path to relaxation, so much better than drugs. A good orgasm helps relieve period cramps. Particularly crabby & pissed off today? Do everyone a favor and go fuck yourself (literally) and enjoy the release of endorphins. Oh, and guess what? Use it or lose it- the more you orgasm, the more you want to, so it’s also good for your libido. And not to mention, it is the safest sex to be had.

Masturbating teaches you about yourself and your responses. I didn’t have vaginal orgasms until very recently-and only when I am playing with myself. It gives me hope that one day I’ll get to come with my man just pounding away without clitoral stimulation. When you know what works for you, you can communicate what works to your partner. And speaking of your partner, give them a treat and put on a show. You’ll be amazed at how hot it is to have someone watch. Or listen-call them at work right before you come and let them hear you. Trust me, you will be on their mind the rest of the day.

I love my toys. I have many. My rabbit is for when I have a “date night” with myself. Taking my time, teasing myself and letting it build before crashing over the edge. I have a regular “facial massager” type seen in the back of magazines and in novelty catalogs. This is a nice portable toy, good for a quickie to help me off to sleep. There is the G-spot toy, fun for exploration and discovery. The good old Oster massager with attachments you can pick up at CVS is always a great standby, with the advantage of never having to worry about batteries dying. I even have a vibrator that looks like a lipstick tucked into my purse, handy when they toy box is at home, but I’m not. The hand held shower massage is the tops! Not only do your parts get squeaky clean, you get to have some fun-talk about parallel processing! In a pinch, I always have my ten digits to lend a “hand” (pun intended).

Now, my spank bank is always full. I may meet someone I find particularly sexy and file them away for later use. I have some good stand by fantasies that always work for me. And, I love porn! My taste may run a bit on the extreme side for some, but there are some perfectly lovely vignettes filed under the category of “Female Friendly”. Porn sites are finally wising up that women are horny and have money. Personally, I like YouPorn. Short & sweet clips to help you on your journey, for free!

So lay back, relax and take your time. Be wanton. Explore, insert, rub. Get close, then stop. See how many times you can do that, then hang on for the biggest “O” you’ve ever had. It’s yours, play with what Mother Nature gave you. After all, our arms would be much shorter if we weren’t supposed to touch it.




About Carrie

I would describe myself as a simple girl. My husband of course would laugh at this and simply point to the collection of red soled shoes in my closet for backup. So to edit that, I will say I am simple in my beliefs. I believe in love, candlelight at dinner because we all look better in candlelight, taking care of one's body, family in whatever form it comes, great sex often, Sunday matinees on the couch, a killer bottle of white followed by a killer bottle of red and someone to make me laugh. I am a writer for a local paper, discussing mostly women's issues (aka sex), hence the nod to Ms. Bradshaw with my pseudonym. Lastly, I believe that you do not have to always be a lady to be all woman.

  • Crystal

    Awesome post. I’m sexually open with my husband. He’s a very pleasured and lucky man. I do masterbate by myself and in front of him. It’s super hot. I’m not religious so I haven’t been brainwashed that being a sexual being is wrong. Sorry! I will never stop. Go thump your bible somewhere else! I’m going to thump by vagina.

  • MomWifeAuntDaughter

    I agree with my sister (Amymomof3girls), this post is extremely inappropriate.

    • What?!?!

      If you think that its so inappropriate than why even read it? My husband loves to watch me touch myself while we are together and it’s truly allowed me to learn about my body and What will bring me to climax. I cannot wait to teach the children of the world.how to do this. If you do not want me teaching AmyMoms or your kids than too bad because then I will teach them especially the kids

  • thealefamily25

    I love to touch and play with myself and especially in front of my daughter and son or with my husband in front of my kids because I hate my kids.

    • Carrie

      THANK YOU!

    • PeopleAreCrazy


  • Amymomof3girls

    Honestly, this post is extremely inappropriate. “Playing” with yourself is inappropriate. I also have three girls and hope to shield them from this kind of behavior.

    • What?!?

      If you think it’s so “inappropriate” why even read it? Why even be on this blog, because clearly it’s way too progressive for you! You can tell, just from the name of the article, what it is about. So, if you are so against something (which is totally natural, by the way) why taint yourself by reading it.
      Being that you have 3 children , I guess somewhere along the line you had sex (unless of course they are adopted). I can’t imagine how vanilla and boring your sex life must be! Your poor husband! My husband loves to watch me touch myself while we are together and masturbation has allowed me to really learn about my body and what will bring me to climax. It’s perfectly natural to learn about your body and to want to feel pleasure, either alone or with your partner.
      So again, I ask- why do you continue to visit this blog and read things that you deem “inappropriate?” What do you hope to achieve by coming here and passing your judgment on theses posts? Don’t you think your time would be better spent doing something else or is your life that boring that this is what you consider exciting?

      • Amymomof3girls

        Huh? Its my opinion and its too bad that you don’t respect it. Oh, and I’m not judgmental. Also, I don’t stalk this blog, I’m registered with Disqus so I get an email whenever someone replies to me. I only check my email once a day, is that what you call stalking?
        I have three daughters whom I love with all my heart. They’re the 10, 8, and 3 and the pride and joy of my life, and I would never dream of insulting mothers for our opinions. Too bad that no one taught you that.
        Oh, and my husband is the best husband that anyone could ever ask for, and honestly, we’d both be uncomfortable if we saw one another take part in this “touching yourself” behavior.
        My life is rewarding, full, and happy so don’t you go worrying about me.

        • Amymomof3girls

          Oops! Typo. I always look over my comments to make sure that there were no grammatical errors and that I said what was needed.
          My children are actually 11, 8, and 3. My eldest turned eleven last Thursday and I’m still used to saying that my kids are 10, 8, and 3.
          Oh, and I see that I had a typo. I meant to say “they’re” instead of “they’re the”. Doesn’t make any sense.

          • What?!?

            Sorry for all my typos above as well. My iPad wouldn’t let me go back into the text to correct them and I’m not very good with technology, so I couldn’t figure out how to do it.
            Also, I’m done. I don’t have time to argue with you!
            In reality, my whole point in replying to you is because I just can’t understand why you continue to be on this blog, when clearly you find many of its topics inappropriate and not what you deem as acceptable things to talk about. I just don’t get it. If I find something offensive I certainly don’t read it and I stay away from those things.
            Also, who your crazy argument with that unstable woman from New Orleans- as I said, this isn’t the place for that. Don’t “test her” here, don’t argue with her here, and don’t engage her crazy behavior here. It’s not the place for it.
            You have your own blog so have some respect for someone else’s and don’t bring that stuff here anymore, please! If she tried to gode you

            • What?!?

              (Sorry! My iPad did it again when I tried to correct the typos in my last sentence!)
              What I meant to say is:
              If she tried to goad you or engage you here, please ignore her. Report her behavior to the appropriate authorities, but do not bring it to this blog anymore.
              That request was not meant to be obnoxious, rather a polite request on behalf of my friends who are a part of this.
              Thank you in advance for respecting that.

        • What?!?

          I am well aware that you are registered with Disqus and I am not because I don’t care to give out any personal details. Also, I am acquainted with many people who are a part of this bolg, which is why I check in on a semi- frequent basis.
          Just for the record, no where in my post to you did I use the word “stalk.” I never accused you of stalking this blog. That was the word you chose to use for yourself, not me- you may want to think about that little Freudian slip.
          Oh, and I wasn’t insulting you as a mother. This post has absolutely nothing to do with being a mother and everything to do with being a woman. So I did not insult you as a mother, nor did I actually insult you. I only pointed out something obvious, which is that your sex life must be vanilla. I’m sure it’s very fulfilling for you because you don’t know what you at missing by adding a bit of spice. That isn’t an insult, just a statement.
          Also, you claimed to,not,be judgmental- but you are the one that called this most “inappropriate,” by doing so, you were stating a judgmental opinion.

    • Carrie

      Its completely natrual, not sure why you’d deem it as inappropriate. What is your life like?

      • Amymomof3girls

        Why do I deem it as inappropriate? Let’s see:
        The way that you say it “touching yourself” and the way that you “touch yourself”. Believe me, I know what you mean by that.

        • Amymomof3girls

          Oops! I pressed enter before I was even done writing.
          So before you ask “Then why do you even read it?” I will answer that. I was strolling this blog, found this post, and clicked out of curiosity.
          I am not judgmental, so don’t you dare.
          If someone doesn’t “touch themselves” does it make them lesser of a person? You and What?! certainly seem to think so.

  • Bob Boberson Mcfarts


    • Carrie

      Just shut it.

  • Finewinewench

    Wow. You’re living in the dark ages. When you’re 3 girls become sexually curious you’ll be wishing they were masturbating and not experimenting with careless boys.

    • Mom to 3 amazing girls

      I don’t think my daughters will ever become (word filtered cause I don’t use profanity) curious. They’re only ages 9, 4, and 2!!!! They’re still going through the “romance and kissing is gross” phase and Emma (my 9 year old) tells me she doesn’t even hope to get married (but she still wants to have kids). As far as I’m concerned my daughters won’t become that type of teen when they’re older.

      • What?!?

        You do realize that the word “sexually” is not profanity, right? I also don’t think the other poster said anything about your girls being teens when they become sexually curious. Everyone, at some point or another, becomes curious about their sexuality. It may be during childhood, the teenage years, or even into young adulthood, but it will happen. It’s natural.

        I’m assuming you have 3 girls, hence your posting name, which means, at some point, unless they are adopted (which is totally feasible) you had sex so I’m not sure why, if you consider the word “sexually” to be profane, you would engage in such a profane act as sex (which is where the word ‘sexually’ comes from)?

        I’m also not sure why you consider masturbation, which again, is natural, normal, and not to mention safe, is “inappropriate” and why as a mother it is inappropriate all the more by your view.

        It’s not like Carrie was advocating that you touch yourself in front of your children, that is what would be inappropriate (and abusive for that matter). A woman is a woman, no matter if she is a mother or not. So a woman being a mother has nothing to do with whether or not she should be ‘allowed’ to touch herself.

        I just don’t get it. Why even read this post if you think masturbation is inaappropriate? I think it’s pretty clear what this post is about just from the name alone and if you didn’t get it from that, don’t you think the picture with the title would give you a clue. If you think it’s inappropriate, I’m not even sure why you would take the time to read it, even if you didn’t read it all the way to the end. And if you don’t like something, there is no need to post negatively about it, use a power we were all given- it’s called ‘ignoring.’

        I personally think it is brave of Carrie to write this post. Most woman do masturbate and this is totally natural and healthy, but many woman don’t talk about it or admit to it. So I say, “Bravo, Carrie! And touch away!” I know I do (and my husband loves it)!

        • http://www.cindybin.blogspot.com/ Cindy Bin (Cindybin2001)

          Masturbation IS inappropriate. It is not morally right.

      • IAmFriendly

        they’re still young that’s why they say that. Wait until they’re 13 or so. Then you wouldn’t hear anything about boys cause they’ll keep it to themselves.

    • http://www.cindybin.blogspot.com/ Cindy Bin (Cindybin2001)

      I can’t believe you would put her down for speaking up about how inappropriate this “touching myself” blog is. It IS inappropriate! I totally agree with “Mom to 3 amazing girls”! And then your screen name is about “fine wine.” Do you drink wine? I have ranted against alcohol for YEARS online. Alcohol is a drug. Just because it’s legal doesn’t make it right!

    • http://www.cindybin.blogspot.com/ Cindy Bin (Cindybin2001)

      And we shouldn’t masturbate, it is not right. I’m a convert to the Mormon church and we are taught why this is morally wrong. If you were Mormon you would understand.

      • IAmFriendly

        Everyone has their own beliefs and opinions. Obviously shes not a Mormon. Maybe it was wrong for you to click this site knowing what it is.

  • Mom to 3 amazing girls

    How inappropriate this post is!!!! “Touching” yourself. If you’re a mother you shouldn’t be. All I could say is you’re an inappopriate woman. Thats all.